Week three and The X Factor auditions have hit Manchester with the judges, including guest judge (and love child of Victor Meldrew) Mel B, eagerly anticipating the offerings on show.
First up was chatterbox Nicola Marie, 35, who reminded Louis of Davina McCall. Singing Tell It To My Heart in a Dub-Step style she energetically rocked it – throwing shapes and doing splits while keeping the tune (Cheryl Cole – take note). Gary compared it to an opening of a magic act and said no, she was annoying and irritating. Mel B (shock horror) said yes as did Louis and Tulisa.
Next up was life guard Jake Quickingdon, 23, singing Use Somebody. Gary nodded in approval. Tulisa agreed. Mel B told him off for looking down and congratulated him on a smashing audition. Louis reckons that people will like him. Four yes-es and he’s through.
Taylor Breslin impressed EF with a Paulo Nuttini number and was through. As was Jessica Beckett who sang Bruno Mars’ Amazing – four yes-es and she joins the bootcamp. Matt Defriattes also books his place with Gotye’sSomebody I used to Know.
Young at heart single mum of two, Alison, who compares herself to Madonna, cited Gary as her favourite judge and offered up Gaga’s Edge of Glory. A few keys off and off time she was hanging on for dear life and eventually went off the edge – poor kids! Gary was loving it!! Mel B told her that the audition should never have happened, Tulisa reckoned she was on the edge of something – but not quite sure what. Louis compared her to a drunken wedding guest and Gary called her sensational. Three no’s and a yes from Gary and she’s still hanging on to hope but on her way home with her shamed kids.
Joseph Whelan tool salesman, 26, from Wolverhampton regaled us with stories of his son Cian and the heartbreak of being separated from his son (pass the wine…sorry tissues). He rocked Led Zepplin’s Whole Lotta Love. EF likes very much! The judging panel loved it and he is also through to boot camp.
The X Factor entourage headed north to Bonnie Scotland. Guest judge Anastatia braved the city famed for Taggart’s‘There’s been a murder’, but did any Glaswegians murder any songs? Alan Dwear slaughtered Take That’s Shine. Louis thought it better than the original! Lol! Loretta wanted to heal people with her voice. Singing Power of Love she had completely the opposite effect. Anastasia was ‘Outta Love’ with her completely. Chavtastic Ethster sang Wild Thing. At least she has a defence in court! She herself acknowledged she was terrible! Off she goes back to the wilds!
Melanie Masson, 44, housewife and under 5’s music class leader managed to flit her way to the stage and sang Cry Baby by Janis Joplin. From the first note she belted her way into EF’s heart – we love her! Gary was enthralled as were the other three judges. They were all spellbound as were we. Her vocals were as fiery as her hair – amazeballs! Gary called her performance insane, Anastasia said “It’s never too late to have a record deal girl!”. Four yes-es and EF can’t wait to see this fairy again!
An excellent store of talent was uncovered and here at EF we are eagerly anticipating next week’s show.